Missed Opportunities

Missed Opportunities - Cya 2019

Email to Dan - Well you know me. Never A Phoebe fan. She has hooked up with Matt B of the National now. A mediocre tune, in my opinion. Wonder why? I am not touching that. We need David to do that one :)

Peace & hugs

Dan to me - Bet the National Guy is looking to make out with her. Hope he got to.

Me to Dan - I am guessing it went further... Oh yeah he is married too. Bleach blonde homewrecker.

Then I told him a story.

I need to make out with someone lol. Now Keanu went and got a Silver Fox gf. I actually met him in Soho at an art gallery. I Should have given him my #. We chatted for 20 mins. He basically asked me to hang with him because these cougars were honing in on him. They owned the gallery. It was comical. He said I looked nice. The exhibit was for his ex-girlfriend’s photography show. His ex was Amanda De Cadenet. She was badass. Her photos were lovely actually. I remember he and I stared at the one of a bird for a long time. “What do you think?”. He was pretending we knew each other. I went along for the ride. I mean when the hell else am I going to hang out with Keanu. I remember thinking “Wow he is bigger than I thought” in a good way. He was a bit puffy from a long flight. He stood tall at 6’2 maybe three. There was that distinctive laid back stoner Ted “Theodore” Logan voice. Come to think of it Bill and Ted wanted to start a band, The Wild Stallyns. Keanu and I did speak about his band, Dogstar. I mentioned I saw them live in LA in the late 90s. He kind of laughed. They weren’t that great. But he had those bass player moves. Bass players get looked over unless the bass player is Neo. The show was at a small venue on the Sunset Strip. He really didn’t look into the audience. But I got up close to watch him move. Ha. I didn’t say that. I did though mention the bartender was “comping” me drinks all night. “Way to go!” Finally our little pretend friendship came to an end when the cougars called him over as Amanda had arrived. He gave me a little wave. Then, I kid you not, the lead singer of Incbus, Brandon Boyd, sauntered in with swagger. He is shorter than you think. So what. He said “Hey” to me. As if he thought, I was Keanu’s real friend. I wish.

I caught his eye when I left and he did the little wave again. I rushed out Prince Street and ran to the restaurant, La Isla. I was late. Way late for a date with a surf photographer from Australia. Note to self and others – don’t tell a potential suitor with good cheek bones that you were late because you were Keanu Reeves’ wing woman. We ate in semi silence. Then he never talked to me again. Alright I get it but it was Keanu fucking Reeves. Cut me some slack Mr.Judgey.

I also met Beck in a back alley off Melrose when I lived in LA. He was high as a cute kite. He had that easy flow to his walk. He was looking around in a childlike manner. We didn’t have cell phones. I saw him and stopped him. “Beck?” He “Yes?” We chatted music. This was when Mixed Bizness came out. I adore that cacophony of weirdness. Beck out did himself, I thought. The high hatted one was enroute to his manager's office but hated Melrose Ave. It was a tourist trap. “It’s too busy. I like the alleys.” Me too. I told him I was on my lunch break. I worked for an interior design shop. A very Melrosian décor shop. I think the saving grace was that it was across the street from a magazine stand. There is something sexy about standing next to a stranger eyeing what they are reading. I once saw Portia de Rossi and her “friend” paging through PlayBoy. Anyhoo, we talked about the album. He said he would love to keep hanging but had to “make an appearance”. He, too, was late. I said "Thanks for the music." He said "Thanks for being pretty". He was married then or else I would have made out with him. And I remain perpetually single. Jeez.

I'm mixing business with leather
Christmas with Heather
Freaks flock together
And make all the be-boys scream